| short story |
[19 Aug 2007|11:44pm] |
Here she was, all of 23 years, 19 years of school, desperate to find a permutation that made sense from the 7 blocks of letters in her latest hand of scrabble. Crinkle as she did her newly tweezed brow, or annoyingly tap her pen (she was the designated scorer), nothing came to mind. Everything, and I mean everything, just seemed to melt away for her in a matter of seconds. She was losing herself, and it took a scrabble game to get her to finally flip.
And like in the movies, when great things come to an end, flashbacks are due, (even in this rambling pseudo-fiction, life imitates poetry, prose is the new poetry piece.)
I remember sitting in my bedroom, crying for myself and my sister. We did not belong to anything or to anyone. How could we? our parents were separated, only God knows if my mother the communist was still alive, my father was dead. my grandfather, the strict patriarch that held everyone together was dead, all my aunts, those that supposedly raised all of us in lieu of a mother, had their own lives, and finally, children of their own. We were floating, orphaned, and the reality that we did not have a family, that in fact we never did have a family, was staring us at face-point. It's been downhill since then, it;s been difficult to get relationships to last. i was desperate to find one, cultivate one, nurture one, one man who would be my future. Who would stand by me no matter what. I've had good ones. very good ones. good catches, big fishes, or whatever cliche you want to use. But they never seem to last. I grow tired of their goodness., they never seem enough. They never see me through. In one way or the other, regardless of who initiates the break up, it's always because of me that things don't last. They all asked for me to marry them. Then again, I guess that;s the most romantic thing any guy could say to a girl-- at any age, even if they are just 12.
Now, here I was living with a guy, who for once does not want to marry me-- or maybe he does? He' isn't quite in control of his senses, must be the drugs, he does not by any means treat me like a princess, and for once, I don;t demand such treatment, he fights back. he tries to control me. he makes me ride public buses. he doesn't listen to what I say. he violates me, and yet i'm here.I feel like Job incarnate. And just minutes ago, all 23 years, all 10 years of dating experience, and 4 serious wedding proposals, I was hit. I was punched. and the pins and needles don;t stop.
The tears don;t stop as well, as they trickle down my cheeks, during the first game of scrabble that I was destined to lose. Everything becomes a blur as a well of tears stream down my cheek bones. I can't stop ot any more. the throbbing from the now purple fist mark on my arm finds its way through my veins, into my heart, stinging it with bitterness, and into my chest, robbing it of air. and into my eyes, fueling it's tears, and out again into my skin. making it numb to all external feelings except of my throbbing bruise, and the thousand and one pins and needles running through them. He gets frustrated. He says I take too long. And that I already know I'm going to win. He gets even more frustrated when he sees the tears. He says He doesn't want to be with someone who's always crying. and that I had no right to be crying. after all, he already promised he wouldn't hit me again. He's right. He doesn't. He takes it out on the poor scrabble set, scattering the letters. the letters that would be words but are just too fucked up to form any sense, not to mention to perform their duty and make words.
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| Quarter life crisis |
[09 Jul 2006|03:35pm] |
Quarter life crisis. I didn’t think it existed. I refused to believe I was a statistic. But recent events, and a lot of research on it has lead me to logically conclude that yes. I am going through quarter-life crisis. Because I am not YOU, bitch. I mean, if I were going through this shit, and I was you, then, um, I’d be normal. By the way, thanks for saving us all the trouble of calling you a bitch, by calling yourself one hehe. You are so smart. There-there, now, little quiz whore.
miss jamie signing out
more on Quarter life crisis, the serious side to it, on imschadenfreude.
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| Happy Birthday to ME |
[22 Feb 2006|03:21pm] |
thank you for all the Birthday greetings and Presents whoohooo!
:-)
will post my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd birthday party menus soon :P
just a quick ditzy...
finally got my car back after two weeks of being in the shop! GO HONDA! thank god insurance paid for the damages. Thanks for the free rides you guys!
anyways this is getting too personal :P
go to imschadenfreude for more on ME :P
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[07 Dec 2005|10:36am] |
Bumangon si Jamie sa lapag.
Tinanggal niya kasi yung mga kama para malagyan ng malaki at colorful na banig
At malambot na kutchon.
Higit sa lahat para mas maraming space sila ng bago niyang roommate- ang pinakmamahal niyang pinsan na si Lara.
Umikot si Jamie sa bahay.
Ahh... Kami lang ni Joel (ang kanyang pinsan)
Okay.
Pumunta si Jamie sa banyo para mag poopoo ng nakasara ang mata at nakabukas ang pinto.
Opps...
Hinabol ang pintuan ng kanyang outstretched arm habang nakaupo sa inodoro at
Naka-baba ang shorts.
May nagbukas ng ilaw sa lavatory na katabi lang ng toilet.
“Today I’m going to write about my life.
I’m just going for it-a matter-of-fact.
No grammar rules no nothing,”
Sabi ni Jamie sa taong di naman niya kilala pero kinakausap niya araw-araw lalo na kung may problema-the little green man called envy in her head.
Nag-aral si Jamie sa Sunny Day play school malapit sa kanilang ospital at kanilang bahay sa pasig na tawag ng lahat ng tao doon ay “white house” dahil sa malalapad nitong mga pader at sa white and brick façade (although wala naming brick ang white house diba?).
Lumipat sa St. Paul’s Pasig para sa prep at gradeschool, sa St. Bridget’s School para sa kaunting gradeschool at Highschool tapos sa Ateneo para a college.
Doon talagang natuto si Jamie. Taas ng grades ni Jamie. Nag-aral yan doon eh. Nagmahal, minahal, niloko, nanloko, nag-sex, uminom, nag drugs, nag yosi (yuck!) nag-aral, umiyak para maka A. nang-iwan, iniwan din naman, nag-trike, nag drive, nabangga, nangulila sa kotse at sa kanyang ama-amaing lolo. (this one and everything I do good is por you!-sabi ni Jamie sa little green man called envy na kinakausap niya lalo na pag may problema)
Pero higit as lahat, nag-sulat si Jamie, ang munting prinsesa.
Nagsulat imbes na umarte sa entablado.
Nagsulat siya hanggang sa makakuha ng awards at magkaroon ng trabaho.
nagsulat siya kasi may pera sa mga taong marunong magsulat.
Nagsulat siya para maka-graduate.
Nagsulat siya para mag ka boy friend,
nag sulat siya para lang manakit at durugin ang maraming puso at puson-her’s included.
Ngayon, nag-susulat si Jamie every day of her life.
Kasi it’s the only thing she knows how to do.
Master of the written word, but sad all the same.
I wish I had pursued acting, I wish I had loved true, I wish I had chosen to go to UP I wish I knew photography. I wish I had gone corporate, I wish I had stuck to print journalism, I wish I never met you, I wish I could drive better, I wish I saved my money, I wish I could live with you, I wish I could just go to Sagada and meet a shaman who can wish all these things into existence.
Sabi ni Jamie sa little green man called envy inside her aching head.
Nagcringe at nandiri si Jamie sa mga ginawa niya sa nakaraan, pero walang regrets. Walang regrets dahil walang panahon, sayang sa oras. Sabi nga ni maricel soriano - I am what I am.
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| 'Tis the season to be wary - hotel card keys!!! |
[01 Dec 2005|09:22am] |
hen you check out of a hotel that uses the credit-card-type room key, the
clerk
often will ask if you have your key(s) to turn in, or there is a box or slot
on the
Reception counter in which to put them?
It's good for the hotel because they save money by reusing those cards.
But, it's not good for you, as revealed below.
Although room keys differ from hotel to hotel, a key obtained from the
"Double
Tree" chain that was being used for a regional Identity Theft Presentation
was found to contain the following e information: a..Customersname.
Customers partial home address; c.. Hotel room number; d..Check in date and
check out date
e.. Customer's (your) credit card number and expiration date!
When you turn them in to the front desk your personal information is there
for any employee to access by simply scanning the card in the hotel
scanner. An employe can take a hand full of cards home and using a scanning
device, access the information onto a laptop computer and go shopping at
your expense. Simply put,hotels do not erase the information on these cards
until
an employee re issues the card to the next hotel guest.
At that time, the new guest's information is electronically "overwritten"
on the card
and the previous guest's information is erased in the overwriting process.
But until the card is rewritten for the next guest, it usually is kept in a
drawer at the front desk with YOUR INFORMATION ON IT!!!!
The bottom line is: Keep the cards, take them home with you, or destroy
them. NEVER leave them behind in the room or room wastebasket, and NEVER turn
them
in to the front desk when you check out of a room. They will not charge you
for the card (it's illegal to do so) and you'll be sure you are not leaving a
lot of
valuable personal information on it that could be easily lifted off with a
simple scanning device card reader. For the same reason, if you arrive at
the airport and discover you still have the card key in your pocket, do not
toss it in an airport trash basket. Take it home and destroy it by cutting
it up, especially through the electronic information strip!
(from my aunt in Cornell University)
Information courtesy of:
Sergeant K. Jorge,
Detective Sergeant,
Pasadena Police Department
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| hehe i just love these things |
[28 Nov 2005|10:34pm] |
<td align="center">Pisces
You have an awesome imagination, and often put it to use for sexual purposes. You are very romantic and don’t hook-up with random people very often.
Because sex to you is about showing your love, you are incredibly romantic in bed, and very giving. You tend be in a serious relationship more often then not.
Sex matches: Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio
Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com
</td>
----------------------
its really weird i've been very busy these past few weeks and yet it seems i have time for non-sensical (well, essentially non-sensical posts). i'm segment producer for a new show (that means i do the interview, "direct shots," write script etc. aka reporter but the technical term really is a segment producer which is pretty much reporter duty) SP=reporter my dream come true!!! and a writer for a nightly show pa. plus all the gifts, xmas preparations have to be done by the 10th!!! because my whole family is going to fly in for the holidays! plus i have to take care of UMM... mwah:* if you have special requests for your presents text me asap. :)
please watch BusinessClass on ANC prime time 6pm (primetime) and replays at 11pm
if you really love me watch din Business Nightly every night on ANC 1030 after world tonight
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| any other divas? :) i waited for this test hehe |
[25 Nov 2005|10:39pm] |
| You Are a Super Diva | 
Some may complain about your diva ways, but you brush them off.
You simply demand the best - and there's nothing wrong with that.
Don't stomp on the little people too much though!
You still need them to get to the top. |
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| animazing shorts! -did u know the philippine animation scene raked in 40 million dollars last year? |
[25 Nov 2005|10:19pm] |
Amateur and professional animators will have a chance to exhibit their creative and technical prowess once more in Animazing Shorts, a 4th Animation Competition that runs from October 2005 to May 2006.
A project of the Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) through its export promotion arm, the Center for International Trade Expositions and Missions (CITEM), in coordination with the Animation Council of the Philippines--Animazing Shorts is one of the highlights of e-Services Philippines, the country's biggest outsourcing conference and exhibition to encourage both the amateur and professional animators to showcase their creativity and artistry.
Participants are given the freedom to come up with their own theme and original storyline.
Entries will be judged based on
creativity (40%),
production value (30%),
audience impact (20%), and
concept/theme (10%).
Applications for participation will be accepted on or before December 15, 2005, while storyboards may be submitted on January 13, 2006. All participating entries that pass the criteria of the jury will be the finalist for the last round on April 17, 2006. Winners will be announced on May 05, 2006.
Finalists' works will be shown on big screens inside the exhibition hall of the e-Services Philippines and will be highlighted in the DTI and ACPI participation in international animation events in Asia and Europe.
Animation services is one of the priority sectors of the DTI with projected global animation revenues of US$50 Billion by the end of 2005.
Many Filipino animators gave life to some of the world's best-loved cartoons, such as Scooby Doo, Tom and Jerry, Addams Family, The Mask, The Jetsons, Dragon Ball Z, Captain Planet, Finding Nemo, and the Incredibles, all under entertainment giants such as Walt Disney, Warner Brothers, Cartoon Network, HBO, Marvel Comics, Hanna Barbera, and producers of Japanese anime.
At present, there are about 50 small and medium animation studios in the country providing jobs to 4,000 local animators. Industry players are either service providers, local sub-contractors and non-commercial producers.
In 2004, the industry earned about 40 million dollars in revenues, almost double the total revenues from animation exports in 2001.
Filipino animators were also behind the realistic graphics of different platforms for gaming produced for Nintendo, Sega, Game Gear, Game Boy, and Sony Playstation. Philippine animation services include full 2D and 3D animation.
Some companies also engage in pre and post production services such as lay-outing, in-betweening, clean-up, digital background through scanning and pre-compositing, color styling, special effects creation, and digital ink and paint application, to flash animation and web design, graphic and art design, mobile applications and art and animation training.
FULLSCREEN GRAFIX
MECHANICS OF ANIMAZING SHORTS
-------------------------------------------
1.) OPEN TO EITHER
- group amateur (a group of not more than five members currently enrolled in a college or university)
- individual professional category (open to all freelance or employed animator, artist, or animation studio employee.)
2.) Entries must be in the form of 2D, 3D and mix animation
3.) 1 TO 3 MINUTES IN LENGTH
4.) VCD or DVD high-resolution format
¶ APPLICATIONS FOR PARTICIPATION WILL BE ACCEPTED ON OR BEFORE DECEMBER 15, 2005...
WHILE STORYBOARDS MAY BE SUBMITTED ON JANUARY 13, 2006.
one of the things that make me smile at work :)
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| xbox makes splashy debut! for the boys that never grew up |
[23 Nov 2005|10:38pm] |
HEADLINE: Xbox makes splashy debut
TV AND WEB RESTRICTIONS~**NONE**~
INTRO: Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates celebrates along with Xbox 360 fans as they get their hands on the latest game console from Microsoft. Celebrities like Paris Hilton and Snoop Doggy Dog and Justin Timberlake join in as well. Microsoft is hoping the holiday season release of its next generation Xbox will give it a head start against rival Sony's Playstation 3, which won't be out until later this year.
STORY: Pre-orders have taken up most of the Xbox supply for now, leaving questions about whether Microsoft can keep up with demand.
SOUNDBITE: Microsoft Chief Xbox Officer Robbie Bach saying, (English): "I think we are doing everything we can in manufacturing, We've got our factories working 24/7. As soon as something comes into the country it goes immediately to retailers as fast as we can get it there."
The global video game market is worth an estimated $25 billion, according to the entertainment software association.
reuters' Bobbi Rebell reports from New York.
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| coolness |
[22 Nov 2005|10:44pm] |
The Scottish selkie was a being who appeared to be
a seal, but had the ability to shed their skin
and roam the land in human form. If a human
were to happen upon the discarded seal skin, he
or she could hide it and force the selkie to
marry him or her. However, if the selkie were
to ever find the skin, he or she would
immediately reassume seal form and return to
the sea from whence they came, leaving their
spouse and offspring on land to forever mourn
their loss.
As a selkie, you are a very withdrawn, secretive
and somewhat sad person, and those around you
find you alluring and mystifying. People who
come into your life find it difficult to find
the inner you. You are also curious, but you
enjoy the comforts of home most of all.
Who is your inner Shapeshifter?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| mister and misus cellophane |
[17 Nov 2005|08:54am] |
post-princess' arabian night's 21st birthday party bash (verbose enough for you?) teehee
taken at then-ralph-titi's house.
well, not that it isn't his house anymore...
it's just that the boy is now a man, and is ralph-TITI. hehe its your fault for always saying "titi" tho thad.
we look so emo-nice here. our first photo together. sometime valentines in 2005. hehe we all spent the the night at your place... crates of red horse beer...red blood running like red horse...
you didnt sleep... but id rather remember the other time i spent the night... with cyndy and jefry...:*
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| Big spenders: Pinoy kids' allowances top P 16 B yearly |
[09 Nov 2005|10:14pm] |
this is so interesting. i love my job :)
-------------------------------
Filipino children receive more than P16 billion in pocket money from
their parents each year, about P13 billion of which is spent on shoes, clothes, food, toys and other accessories, a survey commissioned by Cartoon Network found.
The survey, conducted by polling firm ACNielsen from August to
September,revealed that 93% of 2.34 million Filipinos aged seven to 14 years
receive an average of P145 in cash each week or P7,540 yearly.
"While individual pocket money amount is lower than their counterparts
in Taiwan and Australia, far more Filipino kids receive pocket money. This
is not the case in other countries, where only close to two-thirds of
parents give pocket money," said Duncan Morris, vice-president for research of
Turner International Asia Pacific Ltd.
Filipino kids also have more spending power as a group because there
are so many of them compared with kids elsewhere, Mr. Morris pointed out.
Now in its second year, New Generations Philippines 2005 is a
quantitative study that provides insights into the minds and habits of Filipino kids
aged seven to 14 years. The survey interviewed both kids and parents in
equal number, with a total of 1,000 child-parent pairs.
"Kids can¹t be ignored. They are especially relevant for the
Philippines where a third of the population is under 15 years," Mr. Morris said,
noting that most market surveys choose to ignore children.
According to the survey,
*78% of Filipino children would rather spend their money rather than save it.
* 22% of the 1,000 kids surveyed in Metro Manila, Cebu City and Davao City said they
would rather save their allowance.
The response was pretty much the same for boys and girls, with boys having an average spending rate of 79% and 78% for girls, Mr. Morris said.
"This is a sizeable amount (P16.4 billion spending power), remembering
that 78% spend what they receive. Although 22% would save their money, of
course they're not saving it for long,² Mr. Morris said.
Kids in homes with cable TV receive almost 50% more pocket money than
other kids and kids in Manila are given almost 50% more than kids in Cebu and
Davao.
"If you have P1,000 to spend on anything, what would you buy?," the
respondents were asked.
More than one out of three answered clothes, followed by
*shoes (29%),
*bags(17%),
*toys (16%),
*school supplies (14%),
*food (11%)
*bike (6%).
For boys aged seven to 10 years, shoes/rubber shoes was number one on
their list (35%), followed by
*clothes (32%),
*toys (23%).
Clothes (29%) topped the list of older boys aged 11 to 14, followed by
*shoes/rubber shoes (28%)
* toys and food (12% each).
Younger girls said they would buy clothes (35%) and the number was even
higher among girls aged 11 to 14 years at 41%.
This was followed by
* shoes/rubber shoes (30%) for girls aged seven to
10 years and
* bags (21%) for older girls aged 11 to 14 years.
In toy stores, dolls are the number one purchasing item for girls and
action figures are strong favorites among boys.
Mr. Morris also said about a third of Filipino kids are collectors of
items such as playing cards (34%),
*marbles (12%) for boys, and s
*stickers (28%)
*and Barbie Dolls (19%) for girls.
The same Cartoon Network survey found that nine out of 10 Filipino kids
live in homes with mobile phones, and more than a fourth of them either have
their own or share one with their siblings.
Twenty-seven percent are able to use their parents¹ cell phones and 41%
of kids in the AB socioeconomic group have their own mobile phones.
In the past month, almost half of those surveyed had used a computer,
while one in four had browsed the Internet.
More than half of those interviewed have a DVD player in their homes,
30% have a computer and video game system, and 23% have a TV set in their own bedrooms.
----------------
Mr. Morris said watching TV remains the number one leisure activity for
Filipino kids, with 99% hooked to their TV sets on the average weekday.
Likewise, 61% of kids cite watching TV as their favorite pastime.
Mr. Morris said the vast majority (95%) of parents watch TV with their
kids,
and 82% of them do so on a daily basis. Ninety percent of parents
prefer to
watch TV with their kids versus leaving them to watch alone.
Moreover, parents in cable TV homes prefer that their kids watch
Cartoon
Network, which ranked equal with GMA Network.
The Cartoon Network survey found that aside from having increased
access to
technology, Filipino kids have an active lifestyle, with 82% of parents
claiming that their kids play sports or play outdoors. Almost half of
them
do so daily.
Compare this with Taiwanese and Australian kids, only 12% and 29% of
whom,
respectively, play outdoors daily.
Majority of parents (95%) believed their children ³have an active,
healthy
lifestyle² and 85% felt their kids ³get enough physical exercise.²
Still, more than three quarters (79%) said they would like their kids
to
³play more sport/exercise² and a similar proportion of kids (75%)
agreed
with this.
More than two-thirds of parents said they were comfortable with their
kids¹
diet, saying they eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, while 99% said
their
kids consume three meals a day.
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| to the little girl stuck in the corporate word-jamie's evil twin |
[21 Oct 2005|03:09pm] |
little girl stuck in the corporate world, dont pretend you know what it means to move people through writing. and dont downplay the power of the written word, when you yourself more often than not use words by other people to define yourself.
cheap shots, in my opinion but what else does one with such a limited vocabularly like yours do? words are at its most basic, powerful. they are to me, more powerful than verbal exchanges. verbal exchanges are fleeting and may be attributed largely to emotions. but writing to me is a balance of the cerebral (although i hope instinctive-how does one know if one acts out of instinct anyways?) and the emotional. you know you shouldn't write your ugly when you mean you're ugly. writing gives a sense of finality. that is why contracts are so important. it really is different when things are written down, for lack of a better word,, "different." i mean, if we say that writing is doing nothing, then why are we on lj right-o? do people our age do things for the mere sake of doing them
unsolicited advice corner:
get a noselift. it wont set you back much. besides you need it.
---teehee. its nice to be evil sometimes and write about people you dont know but love to diss! this piece, bitchy or not has a point. i mean, if we say that writing is doing nothing, then why are we on lj right-o?
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| Dear Mrs. President |
[17 Oct 2005|10:27pm] |
Dear Misus President,
I must commend you for putting up a strong front. Although I know your heart must ache just like everyone else. I know you too find it hard to breathe at times just as we do.
I reprimand you for once again, ruling by getting people to obey you through fear and not through a shared sense of destiny. Let's face it Gloria, you are not the strong leader the country needs. You will not be the messiah to build YOUR strong republic. You are again mum on issues you need to address. What of the violent dispersals? SENIOR CITIZENS (regardless if it was the corrupt Teofisto Guingona) were treated like pigs. You have contributed to the degredation of the values of my country. You have offended my sensibilities. Take a stand Gloria. Dont hide behind your staff or your national police. I DARE YOU TO REPRIMAND THE POLICE.
And all this talk about martial law happening...excites me as a journalist yet breaks my heart. I beg you, do not make a dire mistake. I implore you for the sake of your power hungry self to speak. Tell us, you constituents, as we all still are, whether by choice or otherwise, that you will not remove our freedom to speak. Calm our knocking knees and beating hearts. We have no choice but to believe you anyway.
You are stubborn Mrs President, I like that. We need that. But please, you have already garned us powerless, let us keep our dignity as thinking human beings. Do not make us zombies following aimlessly. We know you have grand plans of quelling the country's budget deficit. But at the price of a 20-percent increase in canned goods and an unending increase in oil? I understant Mrs. President, I understand why. but people living under the bridge dont. You say they will not be able to feel the effects of the tax law. I assume as demographics imply they could not afford canned goods in the first place. poor man's fair is now pay less noodles watered down. Their recipe? One pack=5 cups. But you have reduced their chances of ever opening a can.
You are not my country's strong leader. and you never will. You will always be the second best the country has to offer. You are the sacrificial lamb-the epitome of the rotteness we live, and breathe in day in and day out. It isnt just your fault it is everyone's fault.
But I do not clamor for you to step down. That will compromise the country's stability more. We do not deserve our great leader. Until we learn to live with the consequences of our mistakes, we will never learn as a people. So dear President, do your best. Not many are given the chance you are given. Do things right. And teach us to abide by due process.
You, through your complex mistakes and your actions that have questioned our morality have ignited Hope within everyone- that is pag-asa sa gitna ng kawalan nito. Because we can not do anything we are left with nothing but hope. Some hope for you to leave, some wish you death. But at the end of it all eveyrone hopes our country will shine again. I hope you lead the people to greatness. I know you arent the strong leader for the Philippines but I hope you will be.
Love,
Jamie
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princessmalady's journal
